Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Posh Boy job references discovered

smarmy - poisonous - slippery - evasive - condescending - patronising

One of our Oxfordshire operatives, 'Mrs Mopps' (not her real name), has managed to gain access - hoover in hand - to the Posh Boy study, where she has come across the following clippings. They are on irregularly cut scraps of paper, and our forensic team deduces that they had been scissored - in some haste - from character references obtained from former colleagues when he was applying for his current post. They appear to have been brushed under the carpet.

"I wouldn't trust him with my daughter's pocket money."
"louche, slippery, unhelpful and evasive"
"never gave a straight answer when dissemblance was a plausible alternative"
"put up so much verbal tracker you started to lose your own guidance system."
Jeff Randall, financial journalist, Sky TV

"aggressive, sharp-tongued, often condescending and patronising"
"frequently obstructive and unhelpful"
Chris Blackhurst, City editor of the London Evening Standard

Patrick Hosking, investment editor of The Times

"a poisonous, slippery individual"
"a smarmy bully"
"far from the smoothie he pretends to be now"
Ian King, business editor, The Sun

"a bombastic bully"
Conservative Central Office colleague

"philosophically naive and vacuous"
Simon Heffer, Daily Telegraph columnist

"an out-and-out opportunist"
"I don't believe he believes anything"
Robin Harris, Conservative Research Department

"at his interview for Oxford, he was caught bluffing about how much philosophy he had read"
"a cautious man, someone who would think twice before throwing a bottle at a policeman"
The many faces of Mr. Cameron (Francis Elliott and James Hanning)

Mrs Mopps' full report has been transcribed by Brian Reade: David Cameron: What the experts say, for which many thanks.

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